Today, I’m going to keep it brief. I simply want to share an awesome field report from a Stylelife student. It’s a great example of moving from opening to the first kiss using the lessons in the Stylelife program.
I entered the bar scene with my trusty wing Zeus, who, much to his credit sends my value through the roof when we go out together. He’s a great wingman; a guy who’s always got my back when it comes to conversation.
We walked in and I opened immediately. A mixed set. My goal is to get our conversational juices flowing with this first approach, so the next approaches are easier.
We made friends with everyone in the group, leading them through a round of shots and generally providing lots of social value.
As we leave the group, I spot two women over by the balcony and gesture to Zeus. One is petite and blonde, with a set of ultra small teeth in the distinct u-shape (Yeah – you know what’s coming) and her friend is a tanned, brunette, with bangs that fall halfway over her eyes.
I open, and Zeus approaches a moment later. He begins chatting up the woman who appears the least talkative – the petite blonde. As luck would have it, the brunette, who I’m speaking with, has the same name as my late cat, so naturally I told an identity story which I call the Shedding Cat routine. Meanwhile, my wing ran the C’s vs. U’s with the blonde.
At this point, everyone was comfortable. We tell more identity stories for a bit. Zeus discovers that the woman he talks to goes to the same university as him. I take this as my cue, and leave him to it.
I suggest to the brunette that we sit on a couch that’d opened up. While we were talking, I focused on body language and throwing in more value generating material until I had accumulated three indicators of interest.
It was time to go for the kiss; I was in the middle of asking what three qualities she had that separated her from other women when I get tapped on the shoulder.
It was Zeus. Damn. Turns out the blonde said she had a boyfriend, so he kept the conversation going for a bit, then politely moved on. A moment later the blonde comes by and takes the girl I was with away to the toilet, but not before I rushed a number close. It’s not the best move, but it’s what happened. In order to keep our value high, I insisted on rejoining our original group on the dance floor. In the process, I asked Zeus for one last favor, “talk with her friend for five minutes.” I knew that if we hung out for a few more minutes we’d be making out.
We hit the dance floor teaching a new group a few crazy dance moves. While we dance, I get a soft kick to the back of the knee – it’s the brunette!
I quickly separate her again and see Zeus doing a good job teaching the blonde how to do our new dance.
I sat down with the brunette again and ran the soul gazing routine. I chose a more sensitive and emotionally connecting routine. In no time, the energy began to change around us, I leaned in for the close and – she backs away!
Could I have really misread the signs?
We sat and chatted for a while, eventually I pulled out my phone and said, “Well, it’s been nice chatting with you. Stay in touch. I’m sure we will have a really great friendship. I have to meet some other friends now at another bar.” I turned around and walked out. I was hopeful that she would follow, but I had my doubts considering I had apparently misread the indicators if interest earlier. I had walked halfway to the next bar and I get a tap on the shoulder, I turn around and it’s her!
“That’ll be five dollars, thanks!” I pause. “Oh no, but you’re a friend. I’ll let you have it for half price.”
“Oh, but I’m not your friend,” she says, and then she leans in and kisses me! It’s passionate – she bites my lip so hard that I start bleeding. I tease her about it as we walk to the next bar.
Later on, I ask her: “what took so long to kiss me?” and she replied, “I didn’t want my friends judging me.” Lesson learned.
It’s been a few days and I have received 19 texts from her since that night, in exchange for five of my replies. I guess she likes me!
Awesome field report!
Remember, writing field reports is one of the best ways to track your progress, the lessons you’ve learned, and the sticking points that need work. This is a great example of a field report where a student meets and then deals with challenges that come their way. Writing this experience down will help him keep these lessons imprinted in his mind.
If you’re practicing social skills and you haven’t started a journal, use this field report to motivate you to start.