Recently, Neil has been stressing the importance of core values, or what we refer to as your Inner Game. The new Stylelife teaches these core values that can radically change all aspects of your life and make you a much more attractive person to others. He has even challenged all of us here at Stylelife to discuss our personal core values and those of the company. As we define our new way of being, one word comes up again and again: Authenticity.
Being true to yourself is critically important if you’re to be successful and reach your full potential in this world. This may be a bit confusing coming from the same source that suggests you practice canned routines such as “The Ring Finger” routine. So, how do you combine authenticity with structured guidelines and practical techniques?
Let’s explore a few ways to deliver this routine without being inauthentic.
Trust the material. Think of these techniques as levers to move a social interaction forward for those rare moments when you get stuck. When someone reads their horoscope they know full well other people are reading the very same words. A routine like this is made to be entertaining and most great pieces of entertainment are rehearsed and repeated.
Repetition does not make something inauthentic, rather it allows you to show your true personality the more you practice it and the more comfortable you become with it. The more comfortable you are, the more comfortable others will feel with you.
Find an authentic perspective. If you’re not into the esoteric arts, like astrology or palm reading, that’s totally okay. You can begin the routine by saying, “I don’t really believe in this stuff personally, but I just learned it and I’m curious to know what you think.” This is only inauthentic if you’re not actually curious what they think, so be curious! You might learn something really interesting about the person you’re talking to.
Make the routine your own. You don’t have to perform a routine word-for-word as it’s written. Feel free to put your own spin on it. Everyone has fallback stories that they know always entertain a group, and you can start with one that we’ve provided, then move on to find your own personal ones with our coaching.
The more you practice the technique, the more you will make it your own. Anything you practice enough will become comfortable. This is what we mean by becoming more authentic the more times you practice.
• If you’re a comedian, add a joke or two.
• If you love Norse history, use the Norse gods instead of the Greek ones.
• If you’re into palm reading, combine the two.
These are just examples – think of your own passions and interests and come up with your personal twist that best represents your personality.
The great thing about rehearsed material is you’ll always have something to say even at times your mind goes blank. Everyone does it whether they realize it or not. Rather than blurting out insecure canned material unconsciously from your past, you are just re-programming your mind to think in more interesting, positive, engaging ways.
However, you should never compromise your own belief system just for a short-term benefit. Approach every set you do from a place of authenticity and choose your words accordingly. Be totally and completely honest about whatever you are saying. If you do, you’ll attract the highest possible quality people into your life and forge deep, lasting relationships. You’ll also find that amazing experiences will start to happen to you regularly.
Your authentic self in a very interesting person. Just make sure your authentic self has something interesting to say about any situation, and you’ll never be alone.
One of the best ways to build routines is to take your stories and turn them into routines. Since they’re your stories in the first place, you’re already comfortable with them. Now, it’s time to take those stories and refine them into high-value versions and you can learn to do that here: