What is Appropriate Sexual Consent?
This is not a topic that was covered in depth in The Game book, but it should have been, so we are presenting it here:
Rule 1: Only an enthusiastic yes means yes. Everything else is no. Consent means hearing the word “yes.” Silence isn’t consent. “Maybe” isn’t consent. “I guess so” isn’t consent and if you hear no, you stop whatever you are doing.
Rule 2: Talk about it. Don’t make assumptions about what someone is comfortable with in general or sexually. It’s up to both of you to learn each other’s limits. That’s why you ask questions like “Do you feel comfortable moving to the next level?” Trust is key. Never assume you have a yes; it’s not up to the other person to say “no”; it’s up to you to listen for the “yes”.
Rule 3: Permission is non-negotiable.
Getting permission to do one thing doesn’t mean you have permission to do the next. Just because your hand is under her shirt doesn’t mean that it’s okay to move your hand into her pants.
Unless you’re relationship, with a worked out set of rules – every time the intimacy goes to the next level you need consent.
Some people might say, “That’s not romantic. That totally breaks the flow.”
It depends on how you do it and how you bring it up. By both of you knowing you’re doing and what you want, there’ll be much more sexual energy than if one person is getting off and the other is bored, uncomfortable, or scared.
Rule 4: No one can’t give consent if they are drunk or stoned. If a person is too intoxicated to know what they are doing, then they can’t give consent.
Rule 5: “No” means stop. If a person decides in the middle of an intimate moment that they don’t want to continue all previous yes’s are null and void. Whatever you were doing comes to an end, until you’re both consenting again.
Rule 6: Date with empathy. Every approach, every sexual encounter, every romance you are part of, do your best to ensure that the person not only enjoys the experience but that it enriches their lives and is better off for having had it.
Rule 7: Be safe and compassionate: Safe sex is mandatory. However, there is no such thing as safe love. It is a risk of the heart. But it is well worth the reward.