The Power of Reciprocation

If you’ve ever consumed a free sample, and then purchased the product, you’ve experienced the power of reciprocation first hand. If you give someone something, then they are inclined to give back. It’s unavoidable; human nature. So how does reciprocation apply to the social matrix? There are times that gifts are appropriate in a relationship. Countless friendships and romances included … Read More

Are You Ready To Be Popular?

To explore how social proof works within the social matrix, think back to high school and ponder, why were the popular kids popular? Why were the nerdy kids outcasts? The truth is: it was all just made up. Kids based their opinions off of things they heard from other kids, from TV, from parents, and from all sorts of other … Read More

How To Gamify Your Social Skills

Growing up, I was obsessed with Spy novels; John La Carre and Ian Fleming were among my favorites authors. So, when Neil asked me to come up with some spy-like social games for one of his Society Intensives, I couldn’t have been more excited. Today, I want to share one of those games with you as an example of something you could go out … Read More

The Best Way To Apply Every Social Technique Ever

“How do I know when to apply a particular technique?” One of my 1-on-1 Monthly Coaching students asked me this question last week. And it’s not uncommon. When someone first starts practicing social skills, they’re working on developing an awareness of social situations. They do this through testing out material and noting when something works and when something doesn’t. If they’re repeatedly hitting the same sticking … Read More

The Secret to Giving Good Compliments

Last week, I was at a party with an old friend of mine: a photographer who’s always traveling, charming everyone he meets, and having adventurous sexual encounters with women from all over the world. My photographer friend had just spent a weekend going on romantic adventures, all over Spain, with a model he’d been shooting. What I loved about his … Read More

The Canned Material Controversy

It might surprise you, but everyone, everyday, uses canned material. Most people just aren’t aware of it. People who preach an entirely improvised style tend to stick to the most common conversational threads in the world — they are, ironically, entirely predictable. For example: “Hi,” is the most common opener in the world with common canned follow-up questions like, “Where are you from?” “What’s your … Read More

How To Track Your Progress In Social Interactions

The Olympics are an amazing time to watch people at their absolute best and the 2016 Rio Olympics were no exception. Simone Manuel became the first African American woman to win a Gold in swimming. Fiji won their first Gold Medal as a country in Rugby. Monica Puig won the first ever Gold Medal for Puerto Rico in Tennis. And … Read More

Don’t Forget The Ending – And Other Social Storytelling Tips

Have you ever said to someone, “Oh yeah, I love that movie. It was awesome.” And that was it? You stopped. Did you know that every time you respond like that you’re wasting a potential opportunity for a romantic connection? A response to a topic as basic as movie preference is a fantastic place in conversation to build value and express … Read More

Sexual Consent: What you should have learned in Health Class

What is Appropriate Sexual Consent? Rule 1: Only an enthusiastic yes means yes. Everything else is no. Consent means hearing the word “yes.” Silence isn’t consent. “Maybe” isn’t consent. “I guess so” isn’t consent and if you hear no, you stop whatever you are doing. Rule 2: Permission is non-negotiable. Getting permission to do one thing doesn’t mean you have … Read More

Heroic Mindset: Become a Hero

As coaches we hear the same tale time and time again. Maybe she was a friend of yours in school, but you secretly desired her as more than a friend. Perhaps she is a lady you once took on a date, that went well, but you never pulled the trigger. She is a woman of a thousand faces, but one part of … Read More