Aliens and Openers

It’s been a few weeks since I returned from a trip with Neil and a few of his friends from The Society. During our journey through the southwest, the guys role-played that they were part of a clandestine organization that dealt with uncovering alien invaders — an organization called S.M.I.L.E. Each person on the trip received a box of personalized … Read More

What To Do After The Opener

The principle behind starting a conversation is to make the group comfortable, but once they’re comfortable, what comes next? The answer is simple – ask a question or make an observation. It’s called bridging, and it’s a skill that anyone working on improving their social skills should be comfortable with. The Bridge Technique: A bridge is a way to propel … Read More

So Easy My Mother Could Do It

So, my mother has been asking random strangers whether they floss before they brush. Like dozens of them. And so far, no one has “busted” her on it, even though this opener has been all over television, in books, and on the Internet. It’s funny because she really wants to know the answer. She’s been asking waitresses, neighbors, and even … Read More

How to Polish Your Cold Approaches and Start Comfortable Conversations

The first step in a starting a conversation is opening. To do that we use openers, techniques that allow us to start a comfortable conversation with a person or group. With practice, openers are a fantastic tool for starting a conversation. The openers we teach at Stylelife are designed to do four things: Arouse curiosity – they’re more interesting than … Read More

Perfecting Your Practice: Four Mistakes Every Student Makes

Practicing without focus. Social skills are… skills. Like any skill-set there are drills and techniques that help you learn the universal principles of the art form. One of the most common problems people run into is not practicing, and more than that, practicing without focus. Learning any skill is a step-by-step process, you can’t learn it all in one night. … Read More

Rescuing Canned Material

The Old Standbys are Successful for a Reason It’s the same old story, but I don’t want to be rude. So I let the guy continue. “I don’t wanna use canned material,” he says. Then he trots out the usual justifications. It just doesn’t feel right. It’s not his style. It won’t work because it won’t be congruent. He wants … Read More

Using Fashion to Start Conversations with Women

The bottom line with fashion is that women love it. Get them talking about fashion and you will spark a conversation that excites them and allows you the opportunity to DHV. There are countless options for using fashion, both yours and theirs, as openers. If you want women to open you for being stylish then basic dress sense is a … Read More

Approaching Women During Winter Weather

It’s that time again when the snow starts falling, the wind starts blowing, and the chill starts creeping in. Winter time is quickly swinging by but this doesn’t mean that your endless nights of social fun must end. In fact the winter season is a great time to go out and meet your next significant other. You will find a … Read More

Stay One Step Ahead

As soon as you approach a woman or group of people you don’t know, they think two things: 1) What does he want? 2) How long is he going to stay here? If you can satisfactorily answer both of these questions, you can avoid the sting of rejection. If not, you will hear the words that are the anathema of … Read More

Field Reports: Micro-stepping

In an email to the list (you are signed up, right?), I asked you to send in field reports on how micro-stepping had helped with Approach Anxiety. You responded, and here are some excerpts: I’d encourage you to log onto the Forums if you need help, or can offer assistance to your fellow members. —————————————————- Went out last Friday, to … Read More